mankeeping

/MAN-kee-ping/

noun

Meaning

The often invisible, unreciprocated work of supporting and organizing a man’s emotional and social life, such as listening to his problems, maintaining his friendships, remembering important dates, arranging plans, or teaching relationship skills. The term is most often used for dynamics involving women and men in heterosexual relationships, but it can also describe other cross-gender relationships.[3][5]

1. The emotional labor of acting as a man’s primary confidant, therapist, or source of reassurance.
2. The social and logistical work of maintaining a man’s friendships and family connections, including planning gatherings, sending birthday messages, and encouraging him to reach out.
3. A broader feminist or relationship term for an unequal support dynamic in which one person compensates for gaps in a man’s social network.

Examples

“I’m tired of being his therapist and social secretary. This is mankeeping.”

“She reminded him to call his friends, planned every hangout, and called it mankeeping.”

“Mankeeping is not the same as loving someone; both people still need to show up.”

“My brother only talks to me about his feelings, so I’m accidentally mankeeping.”

“If he needs a whole calendar manager to maintain one friendship, that’s mankeeping.”

Origin and spread

Mankeeping was introduced as an academic term by psychologists Angelica Ferrara and Dylan P. Vergara in their paper “Theorizing Mankeeping,” published in Psychology of Men & Masculinities in October 2024. The formation echoes kinkeeping, a sociological term for the work of maintaining family relationships, while narrowing the focus to labor performed to compensate for weaknesses in men’s emotional and social networks. The idea entered wider public discussion through coverage in Forbes in October 2024 and spread through relationship writing, social media, and commentary in 2025. Popular usage sometimes broadens the term beyond the researchers’ focus on men’s social networks to mean almost any unequal emotional labor involving a male partner.[1][3]

How to use it

Mankeeping is informal but also appears in feminist writing, psychology coverage, and relationship commentary. It usually carries a critical or frustrated tone and suggests that the work is unequal, expected, or taken for granted—not simply that someone is caring for a partner. Use it carefully when describing a specific imbalance rather than treating all emotional support in a relationship as mankeeping.